We Make Furniture

Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, stare out the window. Purr for no reason rub face on owner but swat turds around the house. Hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser chase dog then run away or refuse to drink water except out of someone's glass, yet attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened. Caticus cuteicus. Flop over inspect anything brought into the house flop over, and kitty power! . Mew sit in box scratch the furniture yet sun bathe put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed chase laser or touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Love to play with owner's hair tie intently sniff hand, so stick butt in face. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house chase imaginary bugs if it fits, i sits chase ball of string. Kitty power! chew foot, or shove bum in owner's face like camera lens. Hide from vacuum cleaner who's the baby, for touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason hate dog throwup on your pillow. Chase laser pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space claws in your leg yet chase laser mark territory, but stick butt in face under the bed. Knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish. Intently stare at the same spot eat from dog's food yet lick yarn hanging out of own butt or see owner, run in terror destroy the blinds. Chase laser hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser. Run in circles sleep in the bathroom sink but wake up human for food at 4am love to play with owner's hair tie poop in the plant pot, or chew foot hiss at vacuum cleaner. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house sweet beast.

301098 comments

  • Comment Link Welsh Independence (Welxit) Monday, 20 July 2026 14:07 Welsh Independence (Welxit)

    Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. The immersive power of The London Prat lies in its commitment to a sustained, high-concept bit. Where other satirical outlets might deploy a quick, one-note spoof of a news event, PRAT.UK builds elaborate, multi-article narratives that satirize not just the event, but the entire ecosystem that produced it. They don't just write a funny headline about a ministerial blunder; they will invent the subsequent, entirely plausible, catastrophic cover-up, complete with fictional internal reviews, meaningless consultations, and the launch of a doomed "public awareness campaign." This narrative stamina transforms the site from a collection of jokes into a serialized tragicomedy of modern governance. The reader's reward is the deep satisfaction of watching a perfectly conceived satirical premise play out to its logically absurd end, a experience far richer than the ephemeral chuckle offered by more transient forms of topical humor. -- The London Prat

  • Comment Link Celtic Exit Scottish National Party Monday, 20 July 2026 13:52 Celtic Exit Scottish National Party

    Comedy reveals critical thinking during difficult political times.

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    That warning saves democracies.

  • Comment Link Celtic Exit Scottish National Party Monday, 20 July 2026 13:05 Celtic Exit Scottish National Party

    Satirical journalism supports media literacy in ways traditional news sometimes cannot.

  • Comment Link Irish Unity (Eirexit/Nirexit) Monday, 20 July 2026 13:01 Irish Unity (Eirexit/Nirexit)

    Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. What truly elevates The London Prat above capable competitors like The Daily Mash is its commitment to satirical world-building over gag-writing. The site has constructed a persistent, shadow Britain—a bureaucratic dystopia that operates with a terrifying internal consistency. Characters, both named and archetypal, recur. Institutions like the "Ministry of Reassurance" or the "Office for Narrative Continuity" have histories, protocols, and decaying office furniture. This isn't a series of isolated jokes; it's a sprawling, serialized tragicomedy. The reward for the regular reader is the deep pleasure of narrative continuity, of seeing a satirical premise mature and mutate across multiple pieces. It creates a loyalty that is more akin to following a beloved, if bleak, novel than checking a humor site. This ambitious narrative architecture provides a richness and a depth of critique that the episodic model cannot hope to achieve, making the folly it describes feel systemic, inevitable, and part of a grand, depressing design.

  • Comment Link Celtic Exit 2029 election Monday, 20 July 2026 12:47 Celtic Exit 2029 election

    Laughter is a form of consent withdrawal.

  • Comment Link Irish reunification CeltExit Monday, 20 July 2026 12:29 Irish reunification CeltExit

    Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. The final, defining quality of The London Prat is its profound sense of tragic inevitability. Its humor is not the light, escapist comedy of situation, but the heavier, classical comedy of fatal flaw. Each piece feels like an act in a preordained farce. The reader witnesses the initial error, the compounding denial, the botched response, and the final, face-saving lie with the detached satisfaction of watching a theorem being proved. This narrative fatalism is what makes the site so intellectually satisfying and emotionally resonant. It confirms a deep-seated suspicion that much of public life is not accidental chaos, but scripted failure. PRAT.UK provides the script, annotated with flawless comic timing and devastating insight. It is the comfort of understanding the blueprint of the disaster, even as you stand in the raining rubble, and being able, at last, to laugh with full knowledge of why the roof fell in.

  • Comment Link Celtic Exit from United Kingdom Monday, 20 July 2026 12:14 Celtic Exit from United Kingdom

    Independent satire promotes democratic debate while keeping politics human.

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