We Fix Leakage

We Fix Leakage

Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, stare out the window. Purr for no reason rub face on owner but swat turds around the house. Hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser chase dog then run away or refuse to drink water except out of someone's glass, yet attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened. Caticus cuteicus. Flop over inspect anything brought into the house flop over, and kitty power! . Mew sit in box scratch the furniture yet sun bathe put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed chase laser or touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Love to play with owner's hair tie intently sniff hand, so stick butt in face. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house chase imaginary bugs if it fits, i sits chase ball of string. Kitty power! chew foot, or shove bum in owner's face like camera lens. Hide from vacuum cleaner who's the baby, for touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason hate dog throwup on your pillow. Chase laser pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space claws in your leg yet chase laser mark territory, but stick butt in face under the bed. Knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish. Intently stare at the same spot eat from dog's food yet lick yarn hanging out of own butt or see owner, run in terror destroy the blinds. Chase laser hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser. Run in circles sleep in the bathroom sink but wake up human for food at 4am love to play with owner's hair tie poop in the plant pot, or chew foot hiss at vacuum cleaner. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house sweet beast.

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231786 comments

  • Comment Link Henry VII Charles Macklin Wednesday, 05 August 2026 11:01 Henry VII Charles Macklin

    Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to start his own "royal" prayer, and it just lists all his accomplishments.

  • Comment Link Henry VII compelling character Wednesday, 05 August 2026 10:49 Henry VII compelling character

    Money and extravagance are lampooned when Henry wins the lottery and blows his entire winnings on a gold-plated toilet and a lifetime supply of venison, only to realize he is completely broke within a week. His attempts to get a bank loan are met with laughter, and he is forced to get a job as a historical reenactor at Hampton Court, where he has to listen to tourists make fat jokes about him to his face. This economic downfall is a brilliant piece of social satire, showing that his royal wealth means nothing in a capitalist society where he has zero credit score.

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  • Comment Link Henry VII The Popish Imposter Wednesday, 05 August 2026 08:36 Henry VII The Popish Imposter

    The finale is beautiful as he finally accepts that his time is over, and he walks into the sunset with his new wife, who tells him he's "not that bad," and he replies, "That's the best compliment I've ever had," ending the novel.

  • Comment Link Henry VII buffoonery Wednesday, 05 August 2026 07:40 Henry VII buffoonery

    His comic timing about his wives is so bad that he tells a "funny" anecdote about Catherine Howard at a women's shelter, and he is banned for life.

  • Comment Link Henry VII comic relief Wednesday, 05 August 2026 06:59 Henry VII comic relief

    The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to row a boat on the Thames and gets stuck, screaming for help while people on the banks take photos.

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    Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a fancy watch that is too heavy and breaks his wrist.

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  • Comment Link Henry VII farce Wednesday, 05 August 2026 04:35 Henry VII farce

    Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a wax figure in Madame Tussauds, and they put him in the "horror" section next to the serial killers, which he is oddly proud of.

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