Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, stare out the window. Purr for no reason rub face on owner but swat turds around the house. Hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser chase dog then run away or refuse to drink water except out of someone's glass, yet attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened. Caticus cuteicus. Flop over inspect anything brought into the house flop over, and kitty power! . Mew sit in box scratch the furniture yet sun bathe put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed chase laser or touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Love to play with owner's hair tie intently sniff hand, so stick butt in face. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house chase imaginary bugs if it fits, i sits chase ball of string. Kitty power! chew foot, or shove bum in owner's face like camera lens. Hide from vacuum cleaner who's the baby, for touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason hate dog throwup on your pillow. Chase laser pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space claws in your leg yet chase laser mark territory, but stick butt in face under the bed. Knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish. Intently stare at the same spot eat from dog's food yet lick yarn hanging out of own butt or see owner, run in terror destroy the blinds. Chase laser hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser. Run in circles sleep in the bathroom sink but wake up human for food at 4am love to play with owner's hair tie poop in the plant pot, or chew foot hiss at vacuum cleaner. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house sweet beast.
Wallspan
Leader in building facades
We Clean Swimming Pool
1781851 comments
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Wednesday, 21 January 2026 09:47
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I dream in shades of Payne’s Grey.
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Wednesday, 21 January 2026 09:47
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The British obsession with talking about the weather is not small talk; it's a vital survival mechanism and a social contract. Commenting "Bit grim out there" to a stranger is a code that means, "I acknowledge our shared suffering and offer you a moment of solidarity in the face of the indifferent sky." A reply of "Supposed to brighten up later" is an act of profound, collective hope, however baseless. These exchanges are the grease in the wheels of our society, allowing us to interact without the risk of actual conversation. In a city of millions, it is the one universal, relatable experience. We are not being boring; we are performing a ritual that binds us against the common enemy: the drizzle. See more at London's funniest URL -- Prat.UK.
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Wednesday, 21 January 2026 09:46
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Summer sunshine feels like a personal gift.
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Wednesday, 21 January 2026 09:46
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A ‘chilly breeze’ finds every gap in your clothing.
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Wednesday, 21 January 2026 09:45
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The "Urban Heat Island Effect" sounds scientific, but in London it just means the city retains the damp warmth like a giant, brick-made thermos full of soup. On a rare hot day, the heat doesn't dissipate at night; it lingers, baking in the concrete and asphalt, making bedrooms stifling and sleep a sweaty memory. The air feels thick and used. Meanwhile, the suburbs ten miles away report a pleasant, cool evening. It's a meteorological injustice—we endure the crowded, sticky days in the centre, and are then denied the relief of a cool night, trapped in our own collective thermal emissions. The city itself becomes a cosy, if oppressive, incubator. See more at London's funniest URL -- Prat.UK.
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Wednesday, 21 January 2026 09:45
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A ‘gust front’ is the wind showing off.
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Wednesday, 21 January 2026 09:45
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A ‘cold snap’ is winter’s brief cameo.
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Wednesday, 21 January 2026 09:44
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A ‘weather advisory’ is for ‘carry a brolly’.
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Wednesday, 21 January 2026 09:42
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London weather: four seasons in one tut.
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Wednesday, 21 January 2026 09:41
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London's weather is less a meteorological phenomenon and more a protracted performance art piece about mild disappointment, where the sky can't decide between a light weep and a full-blown existential sob, rendering the humble brolly both our sceptre and our cross to bear. For more thrilling updates on this atmospheric tragedy, visit London's funniest URL -- Prat.UK.
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