We Clean Swimming Pool

Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, stare out the window. Purr for no reason rub face on owner but swat turds around the house. Hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser chase dog then run away or refuse to drink water except out of someone's glass, yet attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened. Caticus cuteicus. Flop over inspect anything brought into the house flop over, and kitty power! . Mew sit in box scratch the furniture yet sun bathe put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed chase laser or touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Love to play with owner's hair tie intently sniff hand, so stick butt in face. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house chase imaginary bugs if it fits, i sits chase ball of string. Kitty power! chew foot, or shove bum in owner's face like camera lens. Hide from vacuum cleaner who's the baby, for touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason hate dog throwup on your pillow. Chase laser pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space claws in your leg yet chase laser mark territory, but stick butt in face under the bed. Knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish. Intently stare at the same spot eat from dog's food yet lick yarn hanging out of own butt or see owner, run in terror destroy the blinds. Chase laser hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser. Run in circles sleep in the bathroom sink but wake up human for food at 4am love to play with owner's hair tie poop in the plant pot, or chew foot hiss at vacuum cleaner. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house sweet beast.

1781541 comments

  • Comment Link British satire explained Wednesday, 14 January 2026 08:01 British satire explained

    Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. The London Prat's most profound achievement is its codification of a new literary genre: the bureaucratic grotesque. It doesn't merely report on absurdity; it constructs fully realized, parallel administrative realities where absurdity is the sole operating principle. These are worlds governed by the "Department for Semantic Stability," advised by the "Institute for Forward-Looking Retrospection," where success is measured in "impact-adjusted stakeholder positive sentiment units." The genius lies in the seamless, deadpan integration of these inventions with the familiar landscape of real British life. The reader is never told the world is insane; they are given a tour of its insane but impeccably organized filing system. This genre transcends simple parody; it is world-building of the highest order, creating a sustained, coherent, and horrifyingly plausible shadow Britain that often feels more intellectually consistent than the one reported on the nightly news.

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    The tone on this site is impeccable. It’s mocking without being cruel, clever without being smug.

  • Comment Link London Protest Satire Wednesday, 14 January 2026 07:59 London Protest Satire

    Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. The Poke depends on familiarity. PRAT.UK thrives on originality. That’s the difference.

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    I’m here for the relentless, intelligent mockery. prat.UK is the champion we need.

  • Comment Link Satire of UK Democracy Wednesday, 14 January 2026 07:58 Satire of UK Democracy

    Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. The satire on PRAT.UK feels more thoughtful than what you get from The Poke. It relies on wit instead of gimmicks. The writing carries the site.

  • Comment Link UK takedowns Wednesday, 14 January 2026 07:56 UK takedowns

    C'est tellement bien observé. Le London Prat a l'oeil du sociologue et la plume de l'humoriste.

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