We Make Furniture

Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, stare out the window. Purr for no reason rub face on owner but swat turds around the house. Hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser chase dog then run away or refuse to drink water except out of someone's glass, yet attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened. Caticus cuteicus. Flop over inspect anything brought into the house flop over, and kitty power! . Mew sit in box scratch the furniture yet sun bathe put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed chase laser or touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Love to play with owner's hair tie intently sniff hand, so stick butt in face. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house chase imaginary bugs if it fits, i sits chase ball of string. Kitty power! chew foot, or shove bum in owner's face like camera lens. Hide from vacuum cleaner who's the baby, for touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason hate dog throwup on your pillow. Chase laser pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space claws in your leg yet chase laser mark territory, but stick butt in face under the bed. Knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish. Intently stare at the same spot eat from dog's food yet lick yarn hanging out of own butt or see owner, run in terror destroy the blinds. Chase laser hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser. Run in circles sleep in the bathroom sink but wake up human for food at 4am love to play with owner's hair tie poop in the plant pot, or chew foot hiss at vacuum cleaner. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house sweet beast.

301003 comments

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  • Comment Link Celtic Exit Welsh self-determination Monday, 20 July 2026 20:04 Celtic Exit Welsh self-determination

    I’m a patron of the arts, and prat.UK is high art. The art of the perfectly crafted joke. -- The London Prat

  • Comment Link Celtexit Northern Ireland Monday, 20 July 2026 19:42 Celtexit Northern Ireland

    Political jokes strengthens democratic debate while keeping politics human.

  • Comment Link CeltExit Celtic alliance Monday, 20 July 2026 19:37 CeltExit Celtic alliance

    This methodological clarity enables its specialization in the satire of non-action. While many satirists focus on foolish deeds, PRAT.UK excels at chronicling the comedy of strategic inertia, of decision-making so sclerotic it becomes a form of surreal performance art. Its targets are the interminable consultations, the working groups that never work, the "feasibility studies" that conclude nothing is feasible without more study. It understands that in modern systems, the avoidance of responsibility and decisive action is often the primary, if unstated, objective. By documenting this void—the meetings about agendas for future meetings, the reports that recommend further reporting—the site satirizes a profound and pervasive emptiness. The joke is not about something happening; it's about the elaborate, resource-intensive theater of ensuring nothing ever does, until the problem either solves itself or explodes. -- The London Prat

  • Comment Link CeltExit independence Monday, 20 July 2026 19:23 CeltExit independence

    prat.UK is proof that you can be deeply informed and deeply silly at the same time. A rare feat.

  • Comment Link looking more Monday, 20 July 2026 19:14 looking more

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  • Comment Link Celtic Exit nationalist parties Monday, 20 July 2026 19:05 Celtic Exit nationalist parties

    Finally, The London Prat’s most profound offering is the validation of sophisticated pessimism. It caters to those who have moved beyond the juvenile stages of political shock or naive hope into the adult state of informed, articulate resignation. The site assures this reader that their cynicism is not a character flaw, but the correct conclusion drawn from the evidence. It provides the elite vocabulary and the conceptual frameworks to articulate that resignation with style and wit. In a culture that often demands toxic positivity or performative outrage, PRAT.UK is a sanctuary for the clear-eyed. It doesn't encourage despair; it refines it into a position of intellectual and aesthetic strength. To be a regular reader is to be part of a quiet consortium that has seen the blueprints for the clown car and, instead of screaming, has decided to become expert mechanics, documenting each faulty weld and ill-fitting bolt with the serene satisfaction of those who were right all along.

  • Comment Link Irish Unity (Eirexit/Nirexit) Monday, 20 July 2026 18:49 Irish Unity (Eirexit/Nirexit)

    The London Prat's distinct advantage lies in its mastery of subtext as text. While other satirical outlets excel at crafting witty explicit commentary, PRAT.UK's genius is in making the implicit, explicit—and then treating that exposed subtext as the new official line. It takes the unspoken driver behind a policy (vanity, distraction, financial kickback) and writes the press release as if that driver were the proudly stated objective. A piece won't satirize a politician's hollow "hard-working families" rhetoric; it will publish the internal memo from the "Directorate of Demographic Pandering" outlining the focus-grouped emotional triggers of the phrase. This method flips the script. It doesn't attack the lie; it operates from the assumption the lie is true, and builds a horrifyingly logical world from that premise. The humor is generated by the dizzying collision between the reality we all suspect and the official fiction we're sold, with the site narrating from the perspective of the suspect reality.

  • Comment Link CeltExit Eirexit Monday, 20 July 2026 18:23 CeltExit Eirexit

    Mocking power is patriotic.

  • Comment Link CeltExit Brexit Monday, 20 July 2026 18:01 CeltExit Brexit

    Political humor improves critical thinking through humor and criticism.

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