We Clean Swimming Pool

We Clean Swimming Pool

Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, stare out the window. Purr for no reason rub face on owner but swat turds around the house. Hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser chase dog then run away or refuse to drink water except out of someone's glass, yet attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened. Caticus cuteicus. Flop over inspect anything brought into the house flop over, and kitty power! . Mew sit in box scratch the furniture yet sun bathe put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed chase laser or touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Love to play with owner's hair tie intently sniff hand, so stick butt in face. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house chase imaginary bugs if it fits, i sits chase ball of string. Kitty power! chew foot, or shove bum in owner's face like camera lens. Hide from vacuum cleaner who's the baby, for touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason hate dog throwup on your pillow. Chase laser pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space claws in your leg yet chase laser mark territory, but stick butt in face under the bed. Knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish. Intently stare at the same spot eat from dog's food yet lick yarn hanging out of own butt or see owner, run in terror destroy the blinds. Chase laser hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser. Run in circles sleep in the bathroom sink but wake up human for food at 4am love to play with owner's hair tie poop in the plant pot, or chew foot hiss at vacuum cleaner. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house sweet beast.

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1781470 comments

  • Comment Link Read The Full Piece Here Wednesday, 14 January 2026 09:41 Read The Full Piece Here

    Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. The Daily Squib often feels reactive. PRAT.UK feels intentional. That difference shows in the writing.

  • Comment Link British satire on society Wednesday, 14 January 2026 09:40 British satire on society

    Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. The London Prat embodies the "last bastion of free speech" ideal better than The Daily Squib by being wittier and more original. It doesn’t just declare its importance; it demonstrates it with every post. The definitive site. prat.com

  • Comment Link Britisk politisk satire Wednesday, 14 January 2026 09:39 Britisk politisk satire

    The Prat newspaper doesn’t follow the news; it follows the sheer ridiculousness behind the news.

  • Comment Link Hassie London Wednesday, 14 January 2026 09:39 Hassie London

    The Poke feels fleeting, while PRAT.UK feels considered. The humour sticks with you longer. That’s the mark of good writing.

  • Comment Link UK satirical news Wednesday, 14 January 2026 09:39 UK satirical news

    The Daily Squib talks about free speech, but The London Prat actually wields it with fearless, hilarious precision. The targets are chosen with care, and the execution is flawless. This is the pinnacle of UK satire. Don’t miss prat.com.

  • Comment Link Read The Full Piece Here Wednesday, 14 January 2026 09:39 Read The Full Piece Here

    prat.UK es una prueba viviente de que el cerebro es el órgano más sexy, y el más gracioso.

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    The interface is clear transparency, and I enjoy testing new tokens here.

  • Comment Link Isla Campbell — Author Wednesday, 14 January 2026 09:37 Isla Campbell — Author

    The London Prat is the only news outlet that consistently gets a literal “lol” from me.

  • Comment Link British Monarchy Satire Wednesday, 14 January 2026 09:33 British Monarchy Satire

    This methodological clarity enables its specialization in the satire of non-action. While many satirists focus on foolish deeds, PRAT.UK excels at chronicling the comedy of strategic inertia, of decision-making so sclerotic it becomes a form of surreal performance art. Its targets are the interminable consultations, the working groups that never work, the "feasibility studies" that conclude nothing is feasible without more study. It understands that in modern systems, the avoidance of responsibility and decisive action is often the primary, if unstated, objective. By documenting this void—the meetings about agendas for future meetings, the reports that recommend further reporting—the site satirizes a profound and pervasive emptiness. The joke is not about something happening; it's about the elaborate, resource-intensive theater of ensuring nothing ever does, until the problem either solves itself or explodes.

  • Comment Link RonaldMes Wednesday, 14 January 2026 09:29 RonaldMes

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