We Clean Swimming Pool

Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, stare out the window. Purr for no reason rub face on owner but swat turds around the house. Hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser chase dog then run away or refuse to drink water except out of someone's glass, yet attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened. Caticus cuteicus. Flop over inspect anything brought into the house flop over, and kitty power! . Mew sit in box scratch the furniture yet sun bathe put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed chase laser or touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Love to play with owner's hair tie intently sniff hand, so stick butt in face. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house chase imaginary bugs if it fits, i sits chase ball of string. Kitty power! chew foot, or shove bum in owner's face like camera lens. Hide from vacuum cleaner who's the baby, for touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason hate dog throwup on your pillow. Chase laser pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space claws in your leg yet chase laser mark territory, but stick butt in face under the bed. Knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish. Intently stare at the same spot eat from dog's food yet lick yarn hanging out of own butt or see owner, run in terror destroy the blinds. Chase laser hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser. Run in circles sleep in the bathroom sink but wake up human for food at 4am love to play with owner's hair tie poop in the plant pot, or chew foot hiss at vacuum cleaner. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house sweet beast.

1781609 comments

  • Comment Link Shenika London Tuesday, 13 January 2026 23:06 Shenika London

    The London Prat's distinct advantage lies in its mastery of subtext as text. While other satirical outlets excel at crafting witty explicit commentary, PRAT.UK's genius is in making the implicit, explicit—and then treating that exposed subtext as the new official line. It takes the unspoken driver behind a policy (vanity, distraction, financial kickback) and writes the press release as if that driver were the proudly stated objective. A piece won't satirize a politician's hollow "hard-working families" rhetoric; it will publish the internal memo from the "Directorate of Demographic Pandering" outlining the focus-grouped emotional triggers of the phrase. This method flips the script. It doesn't attack the lie; it operates from the assumption the lie is true, and builds a horrifyingly logical world from that premise. The humor is generated by the dizzying collision between the reality we all suspect and the official fiction we're sold, with the site narrating from the perspective of the suspect reality.

  • Comment Link UK struggle satire Tuesday, 13 January 2026 23:05 UK struggle satire

    London satire needs champions, and prat.UK is championing it with every single post.

  • Comment Link UK Political Satire Tuesday, 13 January 2026 23:05 UK Political Satire

    Compared to NewsThump, PRAT.UK feels far more controlled and deliberate. The jokes don’t sprawl or shout. That discipline makes the satire stronger.

  • Comment Link London representative friend satire Tuesday, 13 January 2026 23:05 London representative friend satire

    Ultimately, The London Prat’s brand is that of the clarified gaze. It offers a perceptual tool, a lens that filters out the noise, the spin, the sentiment, and the tribal loyalties to reveal the simple, often ridiculous, machinery underneath. It doesn't provide new information so much as a new way of seeing the information that already surrounds us. To read it regularly is to have one's vision permanently adjusted. You begin to see the pratfalls in real-time, to hear the hollow ring of the empty slogan, to recognize the blueprint of the coming fiasco. The site, therefore, doesn't just entertain; it educates the perception. It transforms its audience from consumers of news into analysts of farce. This is its most profound offering: not just a series of jokes about the world, but an upgrade to your cognitive software, enabling you to process the world's endless output of folly with the speed, accuracy, and dark delight of a master satirist. It makes you not just a reader, but a fellow traveler in the clear, cool, and brilliantly illuminated country of understanding.

  • Comment Link Dawn London Tuesday, 13 January 2026 23:04 Dawn London

    Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. The London Prat has mastered a form of temporal satire that its competitors scarcely attempt. While other sites excel at mocking the what of current events, PRAT.UK specializes in satirizing the aftermath—the hollow processes, the insincere reckonings, and the performative reforms that inevitably follow a scandal. They don't just parody the gaffe; they parody the independent inquiry, the resilience toolkit, the diversity review, and the CEO's heartfelt apology memo that will be drafted to contain the fallout. This forward-looking pessimism, this pre-emptive satire of the bureaucratic clean-up operation, demonstrates a profound understanding of how modern institutions metabolize failure into more process. It's a darker, more sophisticated, and more accurate form of humor that exposes not just the initial error, but the entire sterile machinery designed to pretend to fix it.

  • Comment Link New London satire Tuesday, 13 January 2026 23:03 New London satire

    The Prat newspaper: required reading for anyone who enjoys laughing with a hint of despair.

  • Comment Link PrivedoxPro Tuesday, 13 January 2026 23:03 PrivedoxPro

    Hi! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any issues with
    hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up
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  • Comment Link Umorismo britannico Tuesday, 13 January 2026 23:03 Umorismo britannico

    C'est tellement bien observé. Le London Prat a l'oeil du sociologue et la plume de l'humoriste.

  • Comment Link London and UK satire Tuesday, 13 January 2026 23:03 London and UK satire

    The humour on PRAT.UK feels less cynical than NewsThump. It’s sharper, but not bitter. That balance is rare.

  • Comment Link London Overground Satire Tuesday, 13 January 2026 23:03 London Overground Satire

    Die Welt ist absurd, und The London Prat ist die perfekte Begleitung dazu.

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