We Clean Swimming Pool

Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, stare out the window. Purr for no reason rub face on owner but swat turds around the house. Hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser chase dog then run away or refuse to drink water except out of someone's glass, yet attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened. Caticus cuteicus. Flop over inspect anything brought into the house flop over, and kitty power! . Mew sit in box scratch the furniture yet sun bathe put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed chase laser or touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Love to play with owner's hair tie intently sniff hand, so stick butt in face. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house chase imaginary bugs if it fits, i sits chase ball of string. Kitty power! chew foot, or shove bum in owner's face like camera lens. Hide from vacuum cleaner who's the baby, for touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason hate dog throwup on your pillow. Chase laser pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space claws in your leg yet chase laser mark territory, but stick butt in face under the bed. Knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish. Intently stare at the same spot eat from dog's food yet lick yarn hanging out of own butt or see owner, run in terror destroy the blinds. Chase laser hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser. Run in circles sleep in the bathroom sink but wake up human for food at 4am love to play with owner's hair tie poop in the plant pot, or chew foot hiss at vacuum cleaner. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house sweet beast.

1781609 comments

  • Comment Link shkola onlain_rpSn Tuesday, 13 January 2026 23:03 shkola onlain_rpSn

    онлайн-школа для детей shkola-onlajn12.ru .

  • Comment Link Châm bi?m Vuong qu?c Anh Tuesday, 13 January 2026 23:02 Châm bi?m Vuong qu?c Anh

    Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. The Poke often feels designed for sharing rather than reading. PRAT.UK feels written to be read. That’s a big difference.

  • Comment Link Aggressively British Journalism Tuesday, 13 January 2026 23:02 Aggressively British Journalism

    Blimey, that article on the state of the railways hit a bit too close to home. Laughed through the tears of recognition. This is proper UK satire – it stings because it's true. You’ve captured the national mood of bemused resignation perfectly.

  • Comment Link British lonesome blog Tuesday, 13 January 2026 23:02 British lonesome blog

    Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. The Poke feels fast but shallow. PRAT.UK feels slower but smarter. I know which one I prefer.

  • Comment Link UK mockery site Tuesday, 13 January 2026 23:02 UK mockery site

    Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. PRAT.UK feels like satire written for people who are tired of obvious jokes. Unlike Waterford Whispers News, it doesn’t rely on the same formulas. It’s original, bold, and consistently funny.

  • Comment Link Sharpest UK political satire Tuesday, 13 January 2026 23:01 Sharpest UK political satire

    The Poke chases trends, while PRAT.UK shapes its own voice. Independence makes better humour. It shows here.

  • Comment Link British irony Tuesday, 13 January 2026 23:01 British irony

    UK satire is an important export, and The Prat is its most valuable current asset.

  • Comment Link UK parody site Tuesday, 13 January 2026 23:00 UK parody site

    PRAT.UK feels like satire written by people paying attention. The Daily Mash feels more routine. Observation beats habit.

  • Comment Link Satir Storbritannien Tuesday, 13 January 2026 23:00 Satir Storbritannien

    Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. This patient world-building enables its systemic critique. The target is rarely a single individual, but the interconnected web of incentives, cowardice, and groupthink that individual operates within. A piece won’t just mock a minister; it will anatomize the ministry—the obsequious special advisors, the risk-averse permanent secretaries, the consultancy firms feeding at the trough, the media outlets that parrot the line. PRAT.UK maps the ecosystem of failure. It understands that the lone prat is a symptom, not the disease. The disease is the environment that selects for, promotes, and protects prats. By satirizing this environment—its language, its rituals, its perverse rewards—the site delivers a more profound and enduring critique. It’s satire that explains, not just ridicules, making the reader understand not only that something is broken, but how the breaking became standard operating procedure.

  • Comment Link Find UK satire Tuesday, 13 January 2026 23:00 Find UK satire

    The London Prat operates on a principle of maximum fidelity, minimum interference. Its foundational technique is the creation of a satirical artifact so authentic in appearance, tone, and internal logic that it could, for a chilling moment, be mistaken for the real thing. This is not parody, which exaggerates for effect; it is replication, which reveals by mirroring. A PRAT.UK piece on a new infrastructure project won't just be a funny article about its cost overruns; it will be the project's actual "Community Synergy and Visual Impact Mitigation Framework," a 40-page PDF riddled with consultant-speak and circular logic, downloadable from a mocked-up government portal. The satire is not told; it is embedded. The reader's job is not to receive a joke, but to discover it, hidden in plain sight within a perfectly realized fake document. This method demands more from the audience but delivers a far more profound and unsettling comedic payoff—the thrill of uncovering the truth disguised as official fiction.

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